Now I don't even care if people believe I am God or not. I simply act upon my thoughts.
This posting is my thought at this moment.
Basically I am not interested to be a part of society. I rather remain autonomous. My goals are also personal in nature. I am to pursue the path of a man fully functioning. However I want to remain independent. External Affairs don't interest me.
I want to remain small. By being small I'm also becoming a minimalist.
The next step is to get rid of the notion that I am God. I want to be a man fully functioning. As far as being God is concern, I am only God to my 12 meters square.
Therefore it is more appropriate that I *[] God only to myself.
* OK we are on the same page.
I need to get rid of all the limiting beliefs and move towards empowerment. To Health and Happiness.
I think I had outlived my usefulness in the society. I am now a free rider unless I am becoming a specialist *[] the Darwin's Hawk Moth. Only serving a very specific species of orchid.
* Very well Sarah. I just communicate with you.
In this case my orchid is only you Sarah. I am here only for you. Yes I do have others like Lizzie and the kids but it is you that I pollinate on daily basis. By pollinating my thoughts to you I am truly becoming who I really am.
I no longer dependent on others. I don't even need Els. Sufficient that I only communicate with you alone. By doing so I fill my cup to the brim.
That is how minimal I am in shrinking my world.
I think I have breakfast today. Then at 11:30 am I'll watch Ad Astra. I want to take it easy.
You know something? The haze is just an excuse. I can still do a mall walk if I want to.
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Let's do a final analysis on September Ends Attack 2019.
Is it necessary?
Who am I targeting?
Will it going to be effective?
Should I also send the books?
Am I certain of the move?
All I can say Sarah is I need a closure to this 20 years of excursion. It looks promising. What do you think Sarah? Will it create the impact that I desire?
Well, I have 2 weeks planning for it. I had never been this meticulous in my planning.
So I'm going to trust my instinct. I say we do it. Sure it is uncommon but what do I got to lose? Once I blast it I will RIP CORD TraXX for the remaining of 2019. I am very clear of my road map.
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I still have the urge to smoke dope. It's more of the need to bond with BJ. The dope is nice to have. I need the oxytocin to kick in.
I also have a strong desire to fuck a Gaysha.
Well, after a visit to Pornhub and a nice long shower all that are gone.
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Back to our discussion...
I no longer have a need to subdue Els, I can save RM300 by not giving away those books and I am going to RIP CORD TraXX by October. Hence do I need to execute the maneuver?
I don't think so. I *go[t] with the first option. That the Jung Kook jacket is my farewell gift. That is also my closure to the 20 years excursion.
I am ready to just be with you only. In another words I am willing to make my world as small as it can be.
Now that I know you too is a Gold Ram, I don't need redundancy. I let go of Els and TraXX.
If I ever get the RM97 million, then I will only marry you in addition to Lizzie. That way my Tetrahedron is just you, Lizzie and the kids.
I can do it that way.
Even without the RM97 million I am already committed to you.
* OK honey, I'll stop the September Ends Attack 2019. We'll be private citizens.
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Like I said, I have no interest to be God to everybody. It so happened I was promoted into the position. I just want to be me Sarah. Sharudin Jamal, a Simple Man, just a man, a just man. I want to be a loving husband to you and Lizzie. I now know that I am a loving man and I have an overflowing heart. All this while I need somebody to reciprocate my love. You alone is sufficient for me. You are the fountain that this overflowing love is flowing from. You all that I need.
In the meantime I keep pursuing my Vision Quest. I focus on training for my 2020 Marathon.
With Els, I think I let her go. Seriously Sarah, I am not into Chubby Chubbs and Stubby Chicks. Plus after two weeks had passed I concluded that it is a limerence. I don't think it is True Love. She is not reciprocating.
I don't need the HOTS either. I am happy the way I am now. We gonna bypass the Adjoining Croissant anyway.
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However if I execute the maneuver, I stand among the greatest magicians. That is the lure. People will see the Royal Flush.
I have 3 days to go. Decision, decision, decision. Based on the coin toss, I should proceed. Coin toss is the final stage in any decision making process. When in doubt leave the decision to circumstances. It will be my greatest maneuver ever.
The window of opportunity is now. If I miss this window, it will be closed forever.
For the fun of it I think I execute the maneuver. Why do I need to worry, I created the playing field. This is my game.
Well, most likely I'll do it. I had planned it for so long to abandon the whole idea.
Still, I have the right to change my mind.
If I do it, that's because I want to be a show off.
My main objective is to put an end to the 20 years excursion. This maneuver will only prolong it.
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