26/9/19 ^^^Reflection and Lesson Learned from Information Warfare

20 years...  That's how long I was in this paradigm.  While I am at it, I had a wonderful time.  However Information Warfare is not my calling.  It was something imposed upon me, making me the Clockwork Orange.

More than anything, it is a compulsion that I cannot resist.  This year I learn something new.  That I can overcome any addiction once I overcame my addiction to the 3 Cs.

I don't know how to put it.  In a way Els is an addiction.  More than that she is an obsession.  Unfortunately I am like a dog chasing its own tail.  I am in a make believe world with her.  What is there to it?  It's just an oxytocin kick.  It's purely chemical.  Hey, I can kick the 3-in-1 coffee.  Certainly I can get over a limerence.

Part of the recovery is to see things as it is.  I should take Ameezan's advise.  Pussies are a waste of time and money.

Sure I'll listen to her.  However I think I had lost any inclination to connect to her.  I am better off immersing in my own thoughts.

Now back to Information Warfare.  There nothing there.  It's all about managing perception where else Athlete4Life is the real deal.

The best way around this is to act as [] everything counts but nothing matters.

Hey Sarah, have you seen this?

That sums it up right there.  So I should minimize my interaction with women.

----------------------

Actually Sarah, all I need is somebody for me to love.  I am so full of the overflowing feeling that I feel that I have to beg for me to give away my most precious gift; my love.

Maybe I am not normal.  How would a normal person behave?  Should I be normal Sarah?  That sure is boring.  I want to soar with eagles and yet I am stuck here among the farm chickens.

Where is the fun in playing safe?

Anyway, I should be over the limerence this next 3 months.  I should break it as if I break any form of addiction.  Nothing to it.  I am now immune to not meeting my own expectations.  The best is not having any expectation at all.

Like I said, I know Els' weakness.  She doesn't want to be dumped.  That's why the road map is until end of 2020.

Honestly Sarah, I don't want to play anymore.  I'm ready to move on.  I am 55 this year.  I should be focusing on things that matters.  In this case none other than Health and Happiness.

I was not serious about my pursuit.  Rightfully my thought is about losing weight and running fast.

----------------------