This time it's not that bad. But still, I walk with a crutch.
---------------
How do I define my life right now? Looks like I am living between gout, ha[v]e and listening to Els. There is no achievement on my part.
Weight is still an issue. I guess that's why I have gout. I still eat a lot of sugar and carbs.
I cannot stomach Relentless anymore. I need to read a good novel. Cannot wait for September Ends to arrive. I need to get into the mindset of a tragically romantic woman. I never done that.
In the meantime I'll read Emotional Intelligence. No wait... I'll read Born to Win; a book on Transactional Analysis.
------------------
My gift is my ability to write descriptively. I am a Word Warrior. I can create impact just by putting my thoughts into words. I'm not much of a talker. I am a thinker. So writing is fine with me.
I guess the point I want to make is, with my talent as a writer I should be using it to achieve my ultimate goal of health and happiness. To be precise, my writing should make me feel liberated. It should reinforce my strongest trait, which is being a loving man.
--------------------
OK I concluded that God and no God is a PRIVATE viewing. It doesn't add value. It is too esoteric. The Shaved Pussy joke is vulgar.
Plus, I need to hijack Els' emotion right now:
baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night
Let's assume I had hijacked her emotion. Nope... assuming something is bad, I'll wait for the SNAP VANISH to complete.
---------------------
I decided to proceed with God and no God Tweets. There is nothing to fear. I always worry about fear of being judged. Let them judge. Most importantly I execute my thoughts.
The message of God and no God is my main theme anyway. Thus I should stand by my principle. I need to drive the message home. WE ARE GODS! That's the only way I can implement World of Hybrids.
-----------------------
Hmmm... In this picture she is not a Chubby Chubb. Interesting...
Recent Tweet from Els Dines
Why cant we ever take a good picture?
anyway, Last night, @radiogreenman finally realized how awesome I truly am
hahahahahaa!! pic.twitter.com/Ss0tHdGlPP
I still think she is a Chubby Chubb:
Still, beauty is not her main appeal. It is her chirpy personality that get me hooked.
Oh well, I have to deal with the cards in my hand. As I said, I'll wait for this SNAP VANISH to end to see if this is limerence or true love.
At present I can say that I LIKE her very much. Is that love? Do I have to be sexually attracted to her to consider this as true love? What I know is if she is reciprocating, I will be fine with this level of feeling I have for her.
Maybe the right choice of words is I AM ATTRACTED TO HER unlike Bee 22 (I almost forgot that is what I call Diyana).
This song is on air:
I need to know if she has feelings towards me. That way I can park my overflowing heart to her.
I think as a whole I am also playing a game here. It is a Pussy Conquest Game. Soon I will get bored. All it takes is for a real PPS to come along and off I go.
As it is I already have my family who love me very much. I am actually looking for a fling I think. Somebody to fill the void in my life. Should I have an intimate relationship with Lizzie and my daughters, Els is history.
And yet, Els filled my cup in a different way. She is a pet. Much like Mopey. So far I like it this way. It is a safe haven for me. I need to be mindful not to hurt her and not to let her slip away. She likes the attention I am giving her. So far she is not complaining.
I need to follow the argument where it leads. As far as I know she likes me. Who doesn't like getting all the attentions and gifts from a raving fan?
------------------
On a different note, somebody is tailing me in the internet. Fuck it... I am already too deep into this game. I got nothing to lose anyway. Before the end of this month I will be free as a bird. Then I focus on my personal agenda to pursue health and happiness.
Everything is sailing smoothly. Keep it that way.
-------------------
I got less than 20 minutes before I sign off. Basically the message I have for myself is to be a nice guy. As of now, I no longer have the racy thoughts. Am I fully cured from Bipolar? I sincerely hope so. I have much to live for.
The best part is I now have somebody that I can express my loving feeling. She doesn't seem to mind. That is a comforting thought for me.
----------------------
This is the lullaby for tonight:
Goodnight Sarah...
--------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment