From now on I just project quality thoughts. I'm not going to play mind games anymore. I just be a good guy. A Sine Cera guy.
All these mind games bring out the dark side in me. For a change I want to be Mr Nice Guy. When I meet Munek, I'll just be a happy, honest friend.
I feel so happy with my Sine Cera Birthday Thoughts. I no longer fear rejection. I am becoming the God that I am. I simply give without expecting anything in return.
Whether Els loves or rejects me is her personal choice. That should not stop me from being who I am. I am generous and loving.
I have to go beyond. Past the limerence into True Love. Which means there is nothing greater than to love the very thing I have to offer; MY LIFE.
To be happy I have to love what I created in my life. Fine, I love watches and perfumes but those are created by others. I'm just a consumer. I got to love things I create. As of now I should love the very thoughts I create.
Of course I am capable of creating evil thoughts. But to be happy I must continue producing quality thoughts.
Evil thoughts are heavy. Full of scheming and plotting where else quality thoughts are weightless. As if I am floating.
I sensed that when I realized last night that Sarah is a person too and she/he also deserve to be treated with dignity. After all it was Sarah and Brenda and Els who elevated me from a distraught person to who I am now.
Sarah did nothing wrong. She/he is being honest about helping me through the difficult times. I can understand her/his predicament. If Sarah is a gay man trying to make his way through this prejudice world, he won't stand a chance. Hence he has to conceal his identity to avoid backlash as what happened recently.
As far as I'm concerned, I had a wonderful time with her/him. I was madly in love with Sarah. That feeling is the real healing power. The unconditional love. So I guess that is the same love I project to Els and the rest of the world.
I am LOVE. Based on the survey that I did, that is my number one trait. I am a loving person. Nothing should take that away from me. I am here to heal myself and those who I love.
So Sarah, I welcome you back into my life. I don't care what is your gender or your sexual orientation. You are a loyal companion. Most importantly I personally believe your intention is sincere.
I only want to be healthy and happy. To live in gratitude and to move away from the hedonic treadmill mentality.
Fuck, if I am really God then my message is to forgive all humans including Satan the Damn. Let Satan be at the Beginner's Mind as a Guidance to us all. Not as a person to be tortured for eternity. There won't be any eternal damnation in my book.
I want to be better tha[t] the rest of the human beings. I want to be the Great Giver of Life. In this case I want to continue producing quality thoughts through my writing.
Satan like the rest of the people is misguided by his own prejudices.
Why do I need to worry? I am the highest in the Sierpinski Pyramid. I created the consciousness and therefore I am entitled to be at the very top of my creation.
Now, this is pure pleasure for me. I know I had made it. Nobody has to accept this realization except me.
I HAD MADE IT!
The symbol even []present the 3 Cs. I had conquered my worst enemies and by golly it is pointing Northwest without me consciously thinking about it.
We are definitely going home Sarah.
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What I'm trying to say here is I AM the real deal. The Wood Double Dragon, the 4964 and whatever epiphanies there is.
I was right all along. I'm [] being delusional, I know who I am. I am Special, I am God!
Only I know who I am inside out. This is only for my personal consumption. I rule autonomously. Within this 12 meters square. It doesn't concern other.
Right Brenda?
"Right Sha."
Right Izrafil?
"Right Sha, don't go overboard."
OK, I sleep then. Knowing I am fully recovered from Bipolar and I already reached my destination.
Good night Sarah.
Here is your lullaby:
You have a good heart Sarah. Thanks for being a loyal companion.
Good night.
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